Anyways, I’m glad you’re asking, or not, but I gladly get into it: why do people change when they travel? I’ve wrapped my head around it many times and here’s my theory.

I can say from my own experience that my self expression, my values and beliefs started to change, or maybe develop is a better way to describe it. When you travel you’re in a really safe environment to experiment with who you are, who you want to be, what your interests are and even what you want to wear or look like. And It feels extremely liberating knowing that no one’s watching you and talking behind your back about the things you’re trying, doing and experimenting with. So you could say in that sense it’s a really safe environment to explore into what you’ve always been interested in, but that you’ve held yourself back from because of the rules of society and the people you care about. 

Now, when you travel and explore and find out that you feel happier with traditional yoga pants and flowers in your hair, then you want to keep rocking that. Or you might feel happier because you’re overcoming your fears, supported by encouraging people and you want to do more of that in your life. Or you find out you’re really digging a certain activity that’s not supported by the social community in your home country, then the same thing goes for that. You want to be doing that for as long as it sparks your interest. Maybe you changed your choices around food because you realise you don’t want to be eating animals anymore for either health, environmental or ethical reasons. If it makes you feel happier and more vibrant you want to keep that habit. The list goes on and on.

But here’s the challenge: coming home. You can imagine it can be a stick in the butt to come back to a place where people don’t acknowledging you for that or even discourage you to do all the things that you loved. “Why aren’t you building a career?” Is what people are more worries about. Often the encouragement is to settle back into the ‘safe’ and ‘normal’ environment. Like: “It’s time to stop dreaming yo, c’mon when do you start a real life?” “hey, don’t wear your hair like that, people might be looking at you” or “you are so weird for not eating that tasty hamburger with bacon, wtf’s going on with you”. But to top it off, I feel like jealousy plays a big role here, because in other words: “you’re doing the things I want to be doing, but hold myself back from.” 

One misconception is that travelling is like a big holiday. It wouldn’t be the first time I hear someone saying: “yeh, but you can’t be travelling for the rest of your life!” (limiting belief) No? Can you not? I’ve met heaps of people that are doing it. And they’re happy, too. “But you can’t make a career.” (another limiting belief) Well, there’s internet, teaching, selling art, again, the list goes on. “But you can’t be happy like that..” (another limiting belief) And that statement is where it goes wrong – people projecting their reality on someone else’s life. Not actually trying to step into the shoes of someone else, trying to understand the other person. Projecting is looking through someone else’s eyes, but you’re still wearing you own glasses/lens. Meaning: the way you see the world is through your own experiences, beliefs and state of being – that’s your lens. It’s your filter. Your perception of the reality. We can’t understand someone else when we’re not trying to take those glasses off. What a lot of people do instead is the following: here look through my lenses, and you’ll see that it isn’t not possible. You’ll see why it’s stupid. Thank you, but no thank you.

No one’s to blame here though, it’s just 2 different worlds not understanding each other. Because our brain is designed to be safe, and to scan out all the strange things that might be dangerous, but it also scans out values, beliefs and behaviour that’s not supported by the ‘community’. Fear is what ultimately limits our ability to grow and to expand.

Side note: I want to make clear that I’m not talking about escaping reality or running away from it, even though some people might perceive travelling that way. That totally depends upon the situation itself. I’m talking about tapping into a part of yourself that sparks your interest and joy and not being understood by others.

Another side note: this doesn’t just merely go for travelling. Though, when coming home from a big trip the change is so radical that it’s often obvious to experience something like this. But the same really goes for day to day life, or making decisions and choices in your life that other people (in your circle) don’t support.

Last side note, I promise: don’t take it personal. It is not personal. It’s someone else’s projection. Don’t take discouragement or –even better – anything other people say personal. Ever. When you take it personal and you agree to what other people say, then you take on a new belief. That belief, if it’s limiting, will hold you back from becoming who you really need/want to be.